Amazing Family

My last blog was not meant for close family. I would never expect John, Dad, Cat, Mom, Vicki, or anyone else just as close to these two men to ask how I am doing. You five people are handling all of this stress amazingly. I am so thankful all of you are in my life.

Cat and Vicki are doing an AMAZING job of taking care of my men! I am so thankful they found women to stand by their side through all of this. The year I took care of my dad was one of the toughest times in my life. I feel like I went through it in autodrive. I am sure the two of you are extremely tired and are far past the "autodrive" point. I won't pretend to know exactly what you are going through, but I am here for you to rant to, anytime you need it. I can never thank you enough for what you two do for my family.

John, you are an amazing inspiration. I never imagined I would look up to you on what a marriage should be like. The love you share with Cat is admirable. I pray that Chad and I never have to go through what you guys are going through. I also pray that if we ever have to, we have half the love you two do to get through it. You have always been a great example to follow and I couldn't ask for a better brother to share all of my experiences with. You are simply amazing!

Dad, you have always believed in me, loved me, and forgiven me through all my life experiences. Helping you through your first round of cancer could NEVER repay you for the life you have given me. You always tell me that you can't thank me enough, well I can't thank you enough for being the father you have been to me. You have taught me so much about what life is really about and helped me make smart choices. I am forever in debt to you! I don't know how it feels to be fighting such a terrible disease, then find out your son has to fight the same battle. Just know that I will always be a rock for you when needed.

I always know the two of you are there for me in an instant. It's great to know I have such strong men behind me!

Mom, the way you are handling yourself through what is every parents biggest fear, is incredible. I envy your calmness and caring nature. I know you would love to just move in with John and take care of him and Cat as long as they needed you. Please keep your head up, remember to pray and lean on God's guidance in all of your actions. Thank you for being my sounding board on my hard days. You are the best friend a girl could ask for. I know that you know I am here! I find it incredible that you have given all control over to Cat. As we have talked about, John and Cat are one. They joined when they got married. I think you have done a great job supporting the two of them, but letting Cat be number one. She is doing great at taking care of him and we love to see it.

From the beginning of Chad and I's relationship I haven't always had great relationships with his parents. I am so glad to be able to add them to my amazing family list!! The two of you are second parents to me. I know that you are always there to listen to me and give me encouragement. In some cases, even cry with me. The two of you have really stepped up when I have needed you and I am so appreciative of that. Please know that I am always here and thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your support.

There are many people that aren't "family" that are great supports. I believe you all know who you are and I thank you. I consider most of you family, even without the blood!

I do not know why I went on these rants tonight. I feel like I have so many emotions and I do not know how to get them out. I don't even know that I expressed all of my thoughts. I just know that I have some really great people in my life that I couldn't thank enough.

I know that I am losing friendships, but I also know that new ones are being built through my new support system. I am mourning my past friendships, but really rejoicing in my new ones. You guys are making my days easier and I couldn't say thank you enough times for your kind words!

I really think the "stress" is hitting me tonight. I am always so strong and tonight I am realizing that I have to let myself feel the pain and deal with my emotions. I feel like I might explode.

God Bless!