I want to clarify my last blog. I don't think it came across as I wanted it to. Gossip may not be the correct word for my weakness. I do not gossip behind my family or friends backs. I am actually very loyal to the people I am close to. By gossiping, I mean if I do not like someone (and they know it) I will talk about them to other people. For example, if my mom talks to someone I do not like, I will tell her what I think about that person everytime she mentions them. I need to learn to hold my tongue. Just because I am not a fan of someone doesn't mean that I need to lobby against them and make others feel the same.
God Bless!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Today's Journey
I feel very overwhelmed today. I feel a sense of “being better”. I need to learn to be a better person overall. I get easily irritated by others. Why?! I am not better than anyone, I KNOW that I irritate other people. No one person is exactly alike, so why do I get irritated, I should just embrace our differences and move on. I vow, right now, to try to be better. I will try not to gossip, be slow to anger, and be happy. I am very blessed in life and should be grateful for the things I have.
I am anxiously awaiting a meeting with my boss about my position, where it’s headed, and what we can both expect from each other. I know this meeting will put a lot of my feelings about the company on the table and I pray that it doesn’t back fire. I think I have concluded that I would like to stay with Badger. I have good points for staying, but also good points for leaving. Hopefully these will be resolved in our meeting. I really LOVE my co-workers. Most of the people I work with are great, I am comfortable in my position, it’s a short commute, and I have freedoms I wouldn’t have if I switched to another company. I have been here long enough that I can take the afternoon off for a doctor’s appointment with no questions asked. I still have to clean the bathroom, but I guess I can let that slide.
My boys are on my mind this week, as always. My dad has to have surgery this week. He has to have some repairs done to his leg. The skin that had radiation 5 years ago isn’t healing properly. They are going in to move around some muscles and see if they can repair it. My brother’s blood cell count is low and his lungs are filling up more than they were draining. They now have to drain once a day instead of every other day. He has another appointment today. Please keep him in your prayers.
I have a lot of changes that I am wanting to make in the near future, some are physical, some are spiritual, and some are to the house.
We have quite a bit of painting and decorating to do to the house before Maria comes in town (that’s my goal to be finished). We have purchased the paint for the pool table room and a couple plaques to put up on the wall. I think I am going to make a vintage American Flag to put on the wall. I found one I liked but it was over $100. WOW, it really looked like something I could do! That should finish out that room. We will just need to paint the other rooms and rehang up the décor. We need to finish the landscaping in the back. We have done half of it. We are probably going to wait until it cools off to finish this.
Now on to the physical. Most of you know that I am a lot thinner than I used to be. I want to say this and I want everyone to understand it, “just because you are thin, doesn’t mean you are healthy”. It’s the truth. I am not healthy at all. I don’t work out, I don’t eat right. I am thin because I have a disease. Unfortunately, the disease has a lot to do with me not eating right. Most fruits and vegetables cause my stomach so much pain, that I cannot eat them. Therefore, working out is my only option. We occasionally walk with our neighbors, which is better than what I used to do (nothing), but it still isn’t enough. I have a goal of doing pilates 4 times a week. This isn’t really a huge time sacrifice. The workout only takes 20 minutes each time. I am also going to start eating small meals during the day, instead of three large ones. This should help my crohn’s.
Onto the most difficult, my spiritual health. As most of you know, I am a Christian. I do not say this to boast or for you to look at me any different. It means that I believe that Jesus Christ was sent to earth to show me how to live my life, to die on the cross for me, and to wait for me in heaven. I am so thankful for our awesome God. All he expects from us is for us to read his word, TRY to live our lives the way he says to in his word, pray and tell him when we screw up, and tell others about him. It sounds so simple, yet I screw it up daily. I wish I had a thirst for his word. I don’t, I have to work at it. I have to make a decision to sit down every day and read my Bible. Obviously, from my first paragraph, I screw up a lot. My biggest weakness is gossip. I am always trying to better this side of me and with my husband’s help I have gotten better about it. I have started to learn to open up and tell others about my faith. I don’t understand why I can tell a complete stranger or someone I barely know about my God, but I can’t talk to some of my closest friends and family. It’s something I have to work on.
Wow, this blog is ALL over the place. This is my journey and these are the real issues going on in my life today. Please pray for my growth as a Christian, for the growth of my family’s faith, and my family’s health.
I am anxiously awaiting a meeting with my boss about my position, where it’s headed, and what we can both expect from each other. I know this meeting will put a lot of my feelings about the company on the table and I pray that it doesn’t back fire. I think I have concluded that I would like to stay with Badger. I have good points for staying, but also good points for leaving. Hopefully these will be resolved in our meeting. I really LOVE my co-workers. Most of the people I work with are great, I am comfortable in my position, it’s a short commute, and I have freedoms I wouldn’t have if I switched to another company. I have been here long enough that I can take the afternoon off for a doctor’s appointment with no questions asked. I still have to clean the bathroom, but I guess I can let that slide.
My boys are on my mind this week, as always. My dad has to have surgery this week. He has to have some repairs done to his leg. The skin that had radiation 5 years ago isn’t healing properly. They are going in to move around some muscles and see if they can repair it. My brother’s blood cell count is low and his lungs are filling up more than they were draining. They now have to drain once a day instead of every other day. He has another appointment today. Please keep him in your prayers.
I have a lot of changes that I am wanting to make in the near future, some are physical, some are spiritual, and some are to the house.
We have quite a bit of painting and decorating to do to the house before Maria comes in town (that’s my goal to be finished). We have purchased the paint for the pool table room and a couple plaques to put up on the wall. I think I am going to make a vintage American Flag to put on the wall. I found one I liked but it was over $100. WOW, it really looked like something I could do! That should finish out that room. We will just need to paint the other rooms and rehang up the décor. We need to finish the landscaping in the back. We have done half of it. We are probably going to wait until it cools off to finish this.
Now on to the physical. Most of you know that I am a lot thinner than I used to be. I want to say this and I want everyone to understand it, “just because you are thin, doesn’t mean you are healthy”. It’s the truth. I am not healthy at all. I don’t work out, I don’t eat right. I am thin because I have a disease. Unfortunately, the disease has a lot to do with me not eating right. Most fruits and vegetables cause my stomach so much pain, that I cannot eat them. Therefore, working out is my only option. We occasionally walk with our neighbors, which is better than what I used to do (nothing), but it still isn’t enough. I have a goal of doing pilates 4 times a week. This isn’t really a huge time sacrifice. The workout only takes 20 minutes each time. I am also going to start eating small meals during the day, instead of three large ones. This should help my crohn’s.
Onto the most difficult, my spiritual health. As most of you know, I am a Christian. I do not say this to boast or for you to look at me any different. It means that I believe that Jesus Christ was sent to earth to show me how to live my life, to die on the cross for me, and to wait for me in heaven. I am so thankful for our awesome God. All he expects from us is for us to read his word, TRY to live our lives the way he says to in his word, pray and tell him when we screw up, and tell others about him. It sounds so simple, yet I screw it up daily. I wish I had a thirst for his word. I don’t, I have to work at it. I have to make a decision to sit down every day and read my Bible. Obviously, from my first paragraph, I screw up a lot. My biggest weakness is gossip. I am always trying to better this side of me and with my husband’s help I have gotten better about it. I have started to learn to open up and tell others about my faith. I don’t understand why I can tell a complete stranger or someone I barely know about my God, but I can’t talk to some of my closest friends and family. It’s something I have to work on.
Wow, this blog is ALL over the place. This is my journey and these are the real issues going on in my life today. Please pray for my growth as a Christian, for the growth of my family’s faith, and my family’s health.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Memorial Weekend
Our weekends are usually filled with craziness. I am going here and there, Chad is almost always headed in a different direction and we meet back for dinner. This weekend was totally different, and I LOVED it. Chad got off work pretty late on Friday, but that didn't stop us. We met at my dad's to clean out his gutters. This was a task. I had never cleaned gutters and, oh boy, I don't want to do it again. YUCK! We got through it though and I know it helped Dad and Vicki a lot. I am so happy that they call when they need something. I want to help so bad, but there usually isn't anything I can do. We are happy to help. We were supposed to lay flooring at my father in laws house, but since Chad didn't get off until 7:30 it was late when we finished the gutters and hanging out at my dad's. We still went to his house and hung out for about an hour. I have to say, when Chad and I started dating his dad and I didn't have the best relationship. This has changed so much and I really enjoy his company.
On Saturday and Sunday we got up early to lay some landscaping bricks around the backyard. We got more than we thought done and I am thrilled. It's not close to done, but it's a great start. For anyone that knows me well, you know that I don't do manual labor - AT ALL! I laughed and told him that he should take a picture, there is not way either of our mom's would believe this!
We cleaned the house on Sunday after landscaping and had our neighbors, mom, and grandparents over for a cookout. It was a good time. We got to relax and just enjoy everyone's company.
Monday we finally got to do the flooring at his dad's house. That was an experience. The first two rows took longer to do than the last 15 they did. They are both very impatient. I sat back and laughed when I got there. Finally they got in a groove and it started going smoothly. We will be going back to finish. He has a couple things to do before we can finish.
Again, none of this is like me! I do not lift things, sit outside, or sweat. It was amazing to me how I didn't mind doing any of this as long as my wonderful husband was doing it along side of me. It was fun to work so hard together. I know I didn't do half as much as him, but he did say that I did a lot more than he expected!
Staying busy was a good thing for me this weekend. It helped keep my mind off my brother. He has now been in the hospital for a week. I have thought about him so much this last week. He had so much fluid in his lungs. They were empty on Saturday, but more fluid came up on Monday. I believe he is having a surgery today to get a tube put in that he can use at home to release the fluid. I sure hope he gets to go home where he is comfortable. We are all praying for him here at home and are so worried about it. Today I realize that maybe he doesn't know how much I think about him and care about him. I do not call him, because I don't want to wake him or bother him. I just send a text here and there to let him know I am here and hopefully get an update on his condition. I am going to start calling him more often to check on him and let him know I am thinking of him. I am shooting for daily or every other day. I hope he doesn't mind, I just want to have the most up to date information and help anyway I can. It's hard being so far away, but there is definitely a piece of my heart down in that hospital room. I hope he knows that!
Of course, after having this wonderful weekend the devil tried to sneak in. He couldn't stand the great time Chad and I had together. He put doubts in my mind about Chad and I. It was very odd, because that has never happened before. I was sitting there around the fire we had on Sunday night and it was just Chad and I. We were sitting across from each other so I asked him to move next to me. We met in the middle and were sitting there. I started getting upset because we were just sitting there, not holding hands or really talking. I starting thinking - does he really love me? Again, I have NEVER had these thoughts before. I prayed for a second asking God what this was about and to show me how we can communicate better, etc. I want our marriage to be the best it can be and I know God is right there with us. I asked God to show both of us what we can do to make it better. Right after I got done praying Chad put the fire out because the grass was getting too hot - we have to put pavers under the pit. We went inside and laid on the couch together. He put his arm around me and we laid there watching TV. I realized that we do love eachother - a lot. We are a more mature couple and sometimes just sitting together is enough. We worked so hard together all weekend, we had fun, we joked, we accomplished a lot. Why would I doubt what we have? God has shown me many little things since that night and I realized how much he does value me. Even though he doesn't say it every minute, he does love me. He shows me by the little things he does for me. My marriage is great and I love him more than anything else on earth.
God is good!
On Saturday and Sunday we got up early to lay some landscaping bricks around the backyard. We got more than we thought done and I am thrilled. It's not close to done, but it's a great start. For anyone that knows me well, you know that I don't do manual labor - AT ALL! I laughed and told him that he should take a picture, there is not way either of our mom's would believe this!
We cleaned the house on Sunday after landscaping and had our neighbors, mom, and grandparents over for a cookout. It was a good time. We got to relax and just enjoy everyone's company.
Monday we finally got to do the flooring at his dad's house. That was an experience. The first two rows took longer to do than the last 15 they did. They are both very impatient. I sat back and laughed when I got there. Finally they got in a groove and it started going smoothly. We will be going back to finish. He has a couple things to do before we can finish.
Again, none of this is like me! I do not lift things, sit outside, or sweat. It was amazing to me how I didn't mind doing any of this as long as my wonderful husband was doing it along side of me. It was fun to work so hard together. I know I didn't do half as much as him, but he did say that I did a lot more than he expected!
Staying busy was a good thing for me this weekend. It helped keep my mind off my brother. He has now been in the hospital for a week. I have thought about him so much this last week. He had so much fluid in his lungs. They were empty on Saturday, but more fluid came up on Monday. I believe he is having a surgery today to get a tube put in that he can use at home to release the fluid. I sure hope he gets to go home where he is comfortable. We are all praying for him here at home and are so worried about it. Today I realize that maybe he doesn't know how much I think about him and care about him. I do not call him, because I don't want to wake him or bother him. I just send a text here and there to let him know I am here and hopefully get an update on his condition. I am going to start calling him more often to check on him and let him know I am thinking of him. I am shooting for daily or every other day. I hope he doesn't mind, I just want to have the most up to date information and help anyway I can. It's hard being so far away, but there is definitely a piece of my heart down in that hospital room. I hope he knows that!
Of course, after having this wonderful weekend the devil tried to sneak in. He couldn't stand the great time Chad and I had together. He put doubts in my mind about Chad and I. It was very odd, because that has never happened before. I was sitting there around the fire we had on Sunday night and it was just Chad and I. We were sitting across from each other so I asked him to move next to me. We met in the middle and were sitting there. I started getting upset because we were just sitting there, not holding hands or really talking. I starting thinking - does he really love me? Again, I have NEVER had these thoughts before. I prayed for a second asking God what this was about and to show me how we can communicate better, etc. I want our marriage to be the best it can be and I know God is right there with us. I asked God to show both of us what we can do to make it better. Right after I got done praying Chad put the fire out because the grass was getting too hot - we have to put pavers under the pit. We went inside and laid on the couch together. He put his arm around me and we laid there watching TV. I realized that we do love eachother - a lot. We are a more mature couple and sometimes just sitting together is enough. We worked so hard together all weekend, we had fun, we joked, we accomplished a lot. Why would I doubt what we have? God has shown me many little things since that night and I realized how much he does value me. Even though he doesn't say it every minute, he does love me. He shows me by the little things he does for me. My marriage is great and I love him more than anything else on earth.
God is good!
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